Missing Bear

I'm starting to get a little concerned. I know he's been prone to taking off in the past, especially over the winter months, but it's never been this early before. One of the contributing writers to the jargonbear has fallen completely off the map.

Where has the Gummi Bear gone?

Wait, I just found this;

Jb

So.....about not posting.

Some of you may have noticed we haven't posted in a while. One of you might have even cared. I have finally decided to come clean. I was not posting because;

1. Work. That stuff I do wayyyy too much of to earn wayyyy too little of the green green stuff that helps me to pay my bills. Unfortunately as little as the hell that consumes my weekdays, (and increasingly more or my weeknights, and even weekends) contributes to my financial independence, it still contributes 100% more than this blogging gig. (I would have put 110% but people that make that statement make me want to stick a frozen flag pole in their rectum)

Speaking of getting paid....Those two links on the right ad bar. The Halloween one and the Betting one, aren't there just for fun. The Halloween one has some sweet costumes. Click on it, pick one up and maybe this year you'll be invited to a halloween party, and not be the loser dressed as a doctor.

And while you're at it. Start a betting account. Online betting is way less intimidating than dealing with Vladimir from the back room downtown at the Cecil.

Hurry up. I haven't eaten in 2 days and am getting pretty frail......

2. I’ve had a super busy week trying to stalker proof my home. Ever since Eva Longoria broke up with that Parker Turd I’ve had my security detail working over time as she’s bound to rear her not so ugly face any second. Oh by the way, my security detail involves the dog that lives at my house. That’s right, it’s not even my dog. And if she were to break in, the odds are 900 to 1 that all the attack dog does is sniff her bum. (coincidentally, odds are 5 to 1 of me doing the same)

3. Oh ya, I went whale spotting. You might think that whale hunting in suburban north America would lead to some disappointing results, but it turns out whales make inland road trips. In this case the whale and her entourage made a concert pit stop in C.A. Contrary to my belief I knew a lot more Mariah Carey songs than I originally thought. She’s one popular whale, that for some reason feels it’s appropriate to wear a bra and labia enhancing hot pants as an all day outfit. Don’t get me wrong, in a normal circumstance I’m all for it, but not when you look like you’re a Macy’s day float than has been inflated 25% too much. I saw her thighs come out on stage and I though I was at rendition of Lord of the Rings the Broadway Musical and she was playing an ent!!

(I tried to find a picture of an ent to post here, but it is surprisingly difficult to find good photo's of fictional species' who have tree trunks for legs.)

gB has not been posting because.......

I don't really know.

I did notice that Dustin Diamonds sex tape came out about the same time as he stopped posting. I guess it's hard to type with only one hand.