Katie Holmes beats up Tom Cruise – She is ruined. Nobody will consider her for a role (they barely will consider her looney husband), he’s demanding she work off the extra 10lbs from having a baby, he’s super short, and by the way he might be gay and he believes in Aliens living in a Volcano as his religion. That’s some kind of crazy.
Round 2:
Shana Moakler knocks out Paris Hilton – Oh wait, this did happen, 2 nights ago, for real. I think I speak on behalf of everyone on the planet when I say “WELL DONE! And who are you again?”
Round 3:
Sienna Miller hits Jude Law with her Volkswagen Van – Why? Cause he boffed the nanny, has a terrible haircut, and generally sucks. And she’s super hot and stuff. Like, y’know?
Round 4:
Jennifer Aniston detonates the plane carrying Vince Vaughn, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt – USA Today reports today…..(that sounded awkward..) that Vince and Jen have broken up, proving in fact that Brad was using him to help slowly put out the fire over his possible cheating with new arm candy Angelina. Turns out she hasn’t even bought a foreign kid for almost 6 months now….which must mean…..
Round 5:
The Queen deports Madonna - Tell Madonna she’s late (and dumb) since the newly British pop star decided to jump on the latest faze of purchasing children from poor countries. Does this African kid now have to learn the accent too?
Round 6:
Jessica Biel body slams me in a vat of jello – Cause that would be freaking awesome
gB
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