Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Jerrica Benton - come on down!

You're the next contestant on the Hump day Club...

You guessed it. It is officially Wednesday and time for the highlight of your week. The latest celebrity to be added to the humpday sorority is Jerrica Benton. Jerrica Benton is absolutely in the hump catergory. In fact I don’t think there has been anyone in history who has been a clearer hump than Jerrica.

Some of you may not know Jerrica, so let’s begin with a bit of background on her. I was introduced to her probably about fifteen years ago on a television program. Although I’ve been aware of her for over a decade now, Jerrica has aged wayyyy more gracefully than any other woman on whom I held a crush at that developmentally crucial point of my life. (Other crushes included Kimmi Gibler, Jenny Garth and all the babes of baywatch)

Jerrica was, and probably still is, the owner manager of Starlight music.

She has a couple close friends and is often spotted performing with them. I occasionally forget their names, but believe they are; Kimber, Aja and Shana.

As if the T.V. show and successful career weren’t enough to justify putting her in the right side of a humpday update she’s also part of a band.

(If you remember Jerrica yet, you’re a champ)

Jerrica has a nickname;

It’s Jem!

Her friends have a nickname; It’s the Holograms.

Man did I have it bad for Jem. Sad part is, I think it was just an innocent crush. Someone needs to do a Hentai - Jem crossover cartoon! Hey Japan, wanna jump on that. I know you’re not preoccupied dealing with the North Korea Situation.


If you try, even for a minute. to tell me that you didn't want to be apart of jem and the holograms when it was on tv, I will call you a filthy liar. Come on man, we've grown up. It was cool to lie about things on the playground in elementary so you wouldn't get teased, but man up buddy! You watched it and you had dreams about tugging on your own earrings and saying, "it's show time synergy" and magically being transformed in to a female rock star. Admit it you queer!

You're Truly outrageous!


Anonymous said...

I had the Jem doll. Are you jealous? Her earrings lit up and she was akwardly larger than my barbies (therefore she ran the shit at the barbie mansion and manhandled ken).

JargonBear said...

I bet it was somewhat similar to how Teddy Ruxpin was a Giant among little bears when placed anywhere near the Carebears. Teddy would put one of his story telling tapes in his back and it would be showtime. Those carebears would stare for hours.