Ok, ok, I’m back. And I’m mad. And I’m black y’all. Oh no wait, I’m not that last one. Anyway, the outcry from the Jargonbear readership has led me to believe that I have been missed (my Mom called, asked if I was still alive, after I said yes she hung up).
While I will offer no further explanation for my absence (thanks for your help Dr. Moshimura…..) I do have a story to tell. You see I had to send some US money from Canada for…………something. Here’s how it went.
Leave work (real job, not this one) 10 minutes early to beat the lineup at the bank. Stand in line for 16 minutes, three tellers working, line getting longer behind me. MY TURN! Oh no wait, the big woman behind the counter puts up a sign saying Closed and she smugly smiles and says “ Someone will be right with you…”. What? I’m sorry, are you going for your lunch break? Because I’m sure starting at 10:00am and working for two hours was tough on your 245lb frame. I hope you choke on your lunch. Because god knows you’ll just be hungry again at freaking 4:00pm when you’re closed once more.
Finally get my money order, drive to post office, get to counter, realize I left my wallet in the car. ArGh. Go back, slam door, wait in line (….argH), I say “need this to go to KALEEFORNIA (in Arnold Schwarzneggar accent), polite young lady does not appreciate my comedic stylings. Fine, she says it can’t there faster than 3-5 days I should courier it, suggests I go to Purolator. Gives me directions, go back to car, take 2 deep breaths, rage meter going up. Get to Purolator, wait 4 minutes to get served because no one is at the counter. Argh. A troll finally comes out from backroom, I drop the accent but it doesn’t matter. It’s going to a PO Box therefore courier cannot deliver and it must be routed through post office. ARgh. Swear loudly enough for people in store to hear me, but not loud enough to get arrested, stomp off to car, slam door, punch steering wheel. Deep breath. Start slinging F-bombs out the window at bad drivers and pedestrians as I unsafely speed back to post office.
Return to post office, polite young lady says “Sorry, I should have checked your delivery address first I guess…” My left eye starts twitching. So I say 3-5 days huh, guaranteed? She replies “It will probably be there by Monday, Tuesday for sure”. YOU LIAR! Tuesday is a full 6 business days later. How effing hard is it to have a piece of mail go down a 3 hour flight? And it’s gonna cost $11.00? ARGH. Head is throbbing, little bit of saliva flicks off lower lip as my voice raises “Hang on, I forgot my friggin wallet in the car! (again) ARGH!!!!”. Damn near break a window on the store’s door as I bust back through to the post office. There’s someone being served now. I have to wait. Mid-transaction. All I have left is to pay and I have to wait another 9 GODFORSAKEN MINUTES!!!!! AAAARRRRRGGGHGHHHH. Lady asks “are you alright?”
A single tear rolls down my cheek.
gB
3 comments:
Love the CB4 reference.
I have worked for an international courier company. It sucks when the employee has no sense to find out what you really need. I made my bread and butter off people in your situation. I had one customer pay $18 to send a CD to his friend in Toronto. You got off easy. Funny thing though, if you were sending a package, a PO Box wouldn't accept it either.
about fucking time...brutal
Post a Comment