Since it’s damn near impossible to get Jessica Alba out of your head, let’s have a look at today’s movie review.
“Into the Blue” starring Jessica Alba, Ashley Scott, a total douchebag, and a famous actor’s son. Now for the record the “TD” is quite possibly one of the worst actors in the business. I paid a homeless guy $4.00 to pretend he’s Kevin Bacon from Footloose for an hour and it was like Shakespeare in the Park compared to this guy’s body of work. Regardless, it’s fairly easy to completely forget he’s even alive in this picturesque display of incredible plotlines that manage to keep dear Jess in a bikini for the better part of 100 minutes. Also good to notice is the affirmative action happening which allows “TD’s” special sidekick Tyson Beckford the chance to earn enough money to get another tattoo. Beckford seems to think he’s the new Taye Diggs, but everybody that likes sweater vests knows you can never replace the Diggster.
Anyway, this movie achieves an arbitrary rating of 14 out of 17. It has sharks, meaningless death, hot girls, and treasure. Gratuitous nudity would have pushed its rating to critically acclaimed 19 out of 17 but the already tried, and unconvincing use of 5 foot 3 Scott Caan as a tough guy brings it down a notch. The only thing keeping this film from true box office success is the complete lack of Patrick Swayze as the stern but caring uncle that doesn’t take any crap from the sharks and saves the loot at the end. If you don’t like this movie you’re probably already dying …………
Thanks to imdb.com for this accurate take as well:
User Rating: 5.4/10 (6,657 votes)
Don’t forget to enjoy other ocean classics like Point Break and Navy Seals
gB
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