SURVIVOR

So Survivor is coming back on line for a new season in the Cook Islands. Normally, I wouldn’t care because I think that being on that show is about as tough as getting a pedicure. Boo hoo, a month away from home, beautiful beach, a nice tan, summer camp games and really, couldn’t we all stand to lose 10 pounds on a leaner diet? You’re mom could.

Anyway, the point of interest here is that the teams are now divided ethnically. The Chicago Tribune website says -

“For the 13th edition of the show, there will be an Asian-American team (which will include Lake Forest resident Jenny Guzon-Bae), an African-American team, a Hispanic team and a white team. Eventually the team members will unite to form diverse teams.”

Can’t we already see where this is going? The “white team” will be paying the Hispanic team $0.50 on the dollar to build their shelter for them, all the while complaining to the producers that they shouldn’t have to share their island with them. Then the Hispanic team would quit working and march on the tribal council demanding better wages and that even though they snuck onto the island and are participating illegally on the show, now that they have built a home and are doing work the past should be forgotten. While Jeff Probst is pondering the demands of the soon to be majority of southern California, the Asian American team has fashioned a solar powered straw automobile that helps them cruise the rest of the island, stockpiling supplies to create the world’s first coconut MP3 player.

I’d let you know what the African American team is doing but the Black Panthers just opened a new chapter in my city and I’d rather hide under the desk.

When enough players are eliminated, and the tribes merge, eventually someone will win. And then someone in America (Land of the Free…..) will start bitching about the person who won (who won't be white) and how it was all a fix from the beginning (cause it probably is). So really, once the thin girls who belong in bikinis have been eliminated, there’s really no point in watching anymore.

I learned all this by going to University. And from TV. Well mostly TV cause I was so hungover in University. And skipped a lot of classes. To drink more. Understand?

gB